My Early Childhood Experiences With Food…

Written by  //  February 15, 2011  //  MEMORIES  //  No comments


The following are some of my memories from age 4 or younger:

 – I remember wanting peanut butter on toast. So I spread peanut butter on a piece of bread and put it in the toaster.

 – I remember eating cucumber sandwiches and watching Gilligan’s Island with siblings.

 – I remember eating ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise sandwiches because they were so easy for me to make.

 – I remember dipping pieces of popcorn into ranch dressing and thinking it was the best!

 – I remember coming out of the bathroom naked and eating a rice crispy treat whilst standing on one leg, with my other foot tucked up onto my thigh like if I was an african hunter.

 – I remember walking around with a tomato and a salt shaker. I would salt the tomato and then bite it like an apple.

 – I remember throwing spaghetti noodles at the ceiling for my mom to see if they would stick and thus be ready to eat.

 – I remember eating croutons like potato chips, straight out of the bag.

 – I remember not being able to heft a jug of milk very well. The bottom of our fridge was about the level of my chest (because it had a freezer below it) and so I’d put my cup in the bottom of the fridge and try to pour the milk. Inevitably, my arms would shake underneath the strain and I would tip the cup over and milk would go all over in the bottom of the fridge. Maybe I decided I didn’t want milk then, so I’d shut the door and leave the mess for someone else. =]

 – I remember watching my dad make stove-top popcorn in a giant pot we called the “Wizard of Oz” pan. Over the years the exterior of the pot had become caked in oils and grease. So, he would rub the pan back and forth on the burner vigorously and sparks would briefly ignite the grease; flames would shoot up about a foot and a half into the air!! As all of this was happening, he would say, in a really deep and booming voice, “I AM OZ, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL!!!!” We were all so impressed and rightly so. This remains to be one of the coolest things.

 – I remember my mom teaching us that if we just added some honey and whole almonds to our plain cheerios that it was practically the exact same as Honey Nut Cheerios. … no it’s not, Mom… no it’s not!

 – I remember thinking that cereal boxes were so neat! There was this lucky charms box that I must’ve stared at for hours. I also remember being particularly pleased with the Corn Flakes Rooster and the Sugar Crisps Sugar Bear in his blue t-shirt. Tony the Tiger was my hero or something.

 – I remember seeing my gram sneak a cucumber slice just before prayer at a family gathering. I thought I was going to be sneaky too, but wasn’t as quick and the prayer had already started by the time I got the cucumber slice to my mouth. I think I was promptly scolded after the prayer for doing so. What a rip! Gram can sneak a ‘cumber, but I can’t?!?!

 – My mom used to babysit these two neighbor kids during the mornings. They would bring their nicely packed lunches, which always included oreos. Day after day, I would have to sit with them and eat whatever my lunch was, which certainly didn’t include oreos. One day, I finally reached my breaking point. So I snuck one of their bags of oreos away and went and threw a blanket over our ottoman. Underneath the blanket, in my fortress of solitude, I gorged myself in the most undignified manner. When everything was said and done, there were oreo smears all over my face and hands, all over the white blanket, and all over the white ottoman. I didn’t have sense enough to clean any of this up and the whole plot was soon unraveled without much mystery or intrigue.

 – I remember someone (who?) used to tell me that my grampa died of leukemia because he put too much sugar on his cereal. I remember not caring and “frosting” my corn flakes in table sugar in the most excessive manner.

 – I remember that one of my aunt’s brought me a giant ghost shaped white chocolate cookie for my birthday in October (I think it was Aunty Sue, but it might’ve been Aunt Elaine). It remains one of my most memorable birthday gifts I ever recieved.

 – I remember making popcorn balls with red and green candy syrup. So delightful!

 – I remember picking and eating raw chard out of our garden.

 – I remember that we once lost a ball or a rocket or something over our back fence. We went around the block to get it back and the neighbors dolled out oreos to each of us kids from a giant glass jar FULL of oreos. After that, I think I tried to throw things over the back fence so that we’d have to go around to get them again. But, alas, the fence was too high (8 ft.?) for my little self to muster such a throw.

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